What He Thought About Before He Went Away
by Professor Wolvie
Summary: Coulson's last mission.


In all honesty, he wasn't scared to die. He just didn't want the people he loved to get hurt. He knew one day soon, he wouldn't wake up. He knew that he wouldn't exist in the same place as his team, no, his family.

Coulson looked at a picture on the table beside his bed. It was a picture of the team, minus Mack and Elena. It had been taken a Fitzsimmons wedding, and at the time the photo was taken, Mack was telling Elena every detail she was missing at the wedding. He knew that those two would definitely be the next ones down the aisle. In the middle of the photo, Fitz and Simmons were staring into each other's eyes. The way they looked at each other, you could tell that at that moment, the only thing in the entire world that mattered to them was each other. He smiled as he remembered when he first met them. They were just two innocent, but smart, newbies. He had enjoyed watching them grow into top knotch agents. Their love story was just as inspiring though; he had seen them go to the ends of the earth and back just to find each other. He knew that Simmons would find Fitz again if it is the last thing she does.

In the background of the photo, Coulson saw Daisy smiling at the happy couple. A tear rolled down his cheek at seeing the daughter like figure in his life. It pained him that he was leaving her before she was fully ready to handle the leadership position he left. He cared so much for Daisy, and was angry that he was never able to tell her that in person. He was glad though, that he was able to leave her a letter. A sad smile spread across as he remembered writing what felt like the hardest thing in his life.

 _Coulson sat down at his office desk as he cleared out his things. Jemma had just told him he would have a couple days to a few months left to live. He knew that the few months were a technicality, and Jemma suspected about a week at most. He was honestly hoping for a few months. He wanted time to actually date May. As he sat at the desk, he pulled out a sheet of paper and his favorite pen. He knew that saying goodbye to the team would be hard, and he he wasn't going to be able to say everything he wanted; especially to Daisy. So, he began to write a letter:_

 _Dear Daisy,_

 _When I met you, I knew you were special. I didn't know that you were an 0-8-4 or that your parents were psychopaths or that you have alien DNA. All I knew was that you were a hacker that was looking to do right in the world. You honestly believed that people with powers could do good. I needed someone on my team with that belief, and that could understand people. Fitzsimmons were nerds to their core, Ward was a specialist trained to be unfeeling, and May and I had been in the game to long. You were new and we needed that. When I first let you on the team, I didn't think that I would grow to care for you so much. During our time together, we looked for your parents. You never really found them, or the parents you were looking for, and I want you to know that I've always seen you as the daughter I never had. I hope that you saw me as you fatherly figure and I full believe you did. I am forever grateful for our time together. I need to lead, and to lead the right way. Be the shield._

 _I love you,_

 _Dad_

He wondered if Daisy had opened his letter already. Knowing her, she probably. He would miss her, and wished there was more time together.

The last people in the picture were him and May. They were standing next to each other. Behind their backs, he was sliding her twenty dollars having lost a bet something he couldn't remember now. There was a smirk playing on her lips and he was trying hard to glare at her to no avail. He smiled as he turned his from the picture, to the woman lying beside him in bed. Her hair was splayed messily across the pillow and she was curled into his side. He stroked her hair as she slept. He loved when she slept. It was the only time she looked truly calm. One of her arms was curled around him, and the other was curled around her stomach protecting the small fragile life they had created. She wasn't even showing yet and he was upset that he knew he wouldn't be around to see it.

He had managed to survive three weeks since leaving the Zephyr. He and Melinda had just found out she was pregnant the day before. The both figure she had to have conceived the first night they got there. He was surprised she was even pregnant at all, but miracles do happen.

That night, the reason he had been awake in the first place, was to write letters to his unborn child. He didn't know if it was a boy or a girl, but he knew that he could write letters for important occasions in their life regardless. He knew what it was like to be raised without a father, and he didn't want that for his child. He wanted them to have something him besides genes.

He finished writing his letters, and put them in a box underneath his bed. He then kissed Melinda goodnight, and curled up against her. He knew, that this was the sleep that would allow him to dream forever.

* * *

At eighteen years old, Margaret Xing Coulson May sat in her room. She sat on the floor with her long straight black hair flowing freely down her back. Everyone says she looks like her mother, but has her father's eyes and personality. She chuckled, if she didn't have her father's personality she wouldn't be having such a difficult time deciding between going into SHIELD or going to college. She looked underneath her bed and grabbed a box full of letters he wrote to her. She searched through the box until she found the letter with a picture of the shield logo on it. She figured this was a safe bet on advice and began to read:

 _To my son or daughter,_

 _Right now you are deciding between two completely different life courses. I can only tell you my own experience. I decided to pursue a life in SHIELD instead of teaching history. I wanted to be the one making the history. In all honesty, for the longest time, the biggest regret in my life was joining SHIELD. I had no life outside of the organization and was always trying to save the world never being thanked. In a computer simulation, I was able to experience what my life would have been like had I decided to teach history. I realized that my life was better in SHIELD. With SHIELD, I had found a family. Had I taught history, I would've never met my best friend, and the love of my life, your mother. There are many downsides to working for SHIELD, but I think that the family you form, plus saving the world, makes up for it. If I was there, I would support you in any decision you make. I know your mother will too._

 _I love you,_

 _Dad_

Margaret smiled as she read her father's letter. She knew that she was willing to let the few positives, out way the many negatives. She was the daughter of two of SHIELD's greatest spies after all.


End file.
